I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
