I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
