Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
