It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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