I love black thongs
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
