So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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