How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
