No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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