Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
