Acid is not a monday night drug
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My penis needs a shock collar
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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