I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize