She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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