It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
soo... how was my night?
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