my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
