i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize