he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Randomize