That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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