at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize