He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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