There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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