Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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