Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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