paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
