I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
