a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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