So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize