whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
