I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
