I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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