we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
