At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
