1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
