She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
