OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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