but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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