dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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