Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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