Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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