I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
