Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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