Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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