Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
