Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
