your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
