I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
