are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
