You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize