I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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