But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
