Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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