i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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