Buhtt sex?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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