mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
