is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
