omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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