I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
