McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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