yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
