Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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