Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
