paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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