Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
