I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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