there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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