he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
